As a young lady of 21, I dreamed of stepping out on my own. My wedding was just months away and life was mine for the living. One fateful afternoon, I lost my mother. First to a coma and then to the permanency of death. Suddenly the field of possibility had a gashing hole in it. Or at least it seemed.
Life as I knew it spun out of control. The loss of my mother shifted the relationships I had with others in my life. The grief felt like poison, and all I knew changed forever.
This week was the 20th anniversary of her death. I have grown in leaps and bounds from that naturally naive young woman. I have blossomed into a soulful and centered goddess. My relationship with life is full bodied, and my relationship with death steady and grounded.
But as this Wishcasting Wednesday comes around, I can’t help but want my wish to help shift even further the learned conditioning that came with the event. Jamie Ridler, our wishcast prompting patroness, has guided the wishcasters to query what it is we wish for less of.
Looking back over my life without Mom, I leee glaring boundaries which I have placed on myself- perceived inequities and incapabilities which beckon me to step outside the bounds of my limitations and into the realm of potentiality. “Let go,” they chant. “Let go and be curious.”
- What if I could live as if I had never lost?
- What if I could forgive?
- What if I knew myself to be more capable than I sometimes think I am?
- What if looking at the places that scared me or limited me actually allowed a new way of being?
- What if that way of being is worth the risk of believing in it?
- What if my story is beautiful and inspiring?
- What if I let go of the “I loss my mom and so I am wounded” label?
- What if I lived from “I have been inspired to live a beautiful life because of the living expression of grace that I continue to experience in a life which honors an on-going relationship in spirit with my mom”?
- What if I am healed?
What do I wish for less of?
Limits, labels, and the presumption that I know how it will all turn out.