Ever since I can remember, I have been sensitive. Got my feelings hurt easily or felt the pain and discomfort of others. Sometimes it has been a positive experience. I almost always well up with tears at the blessings of others….or the hurt.
This morning in the bath, I began daydreaming about my youth. So much has changed as things do when one grows up. When thinking back, I can’t help but think of my mother. I lost her at 21, just over 20 years ago. But even before the trauma of her passing, I felt a kind of difficulty with living. I felt weighed down by life and caught up in all its strife.
As I realized the huge shifts I have made in my life, I began praying…right there in the sanctuary of my tub. I asked the Divine Messenger to send word to my mother. I really wanted her to know that I was happy and content. I wanted her to understand that I didn’t know then how to be less weighed down and less caught up but that the woman I am now kinda gets it.
Life is easier. (If you could see inside my spirit, you would notice a lightness about me that has not been there for as long as I have known myself.) I wanted to say those things to my mother because I wanted her to know that there is peace in my life. I needed her to be a part of that too. I shared so much pain with her…so much struggle for power….I couldn’t help but want to share the joy of my life with her.
Today, I am actively turning over control in situations where I might have had to nit pick before. And somehow that makes others feelings less intense. I still have supreme empathy skills, but I don’t have to become another’s emotions, I simply witness them. And today I understand that to be a much more valuable gift.
Jamie Ridler asks, as her Wishcasting Wednesday prompt: How do you wish to soar?
I say, with peace, free from the bindings of a life dedicated to the big struggle. I wish to soar with increasing ease. I wish to soar mindlessly….as if soaring were my nature, rather than wrestling with the weight of the earth. And truthful, I don’t care HOW I soar just as long as I do soar…because for so long I didn’t count soaring as an option. But today, I claim the soar-er in me and release the groundling from her duty. Go little Ravensister. Take your broad, black wings a FLY!!! …fly HIGH!!!