Today’s prompt from Mary Jaksch asks…What are you too scared to write about?
Dang it! Today is day one for me. And here she is pulling this punch. But what else should I expect. I asked to look inward and be changed and here it is.
I feel stuck with this blog. And it may be way less complicated than I am making it out to be, but it may not be. For a good part of my life, I have wanted to help others find their voice and their self-confidence by using the arts and creativity. The pull there happens as a result of finding my own voice in much the same way. I understand what a life change can happen when someone engages in a creative act and discovers that what they had to say or express is valuable.
In some ways, I have been doing this work for over 20 years. I taught drama, art, dance, and music classes. I lead workshops in which we looked at death through the lens of art and gave performances based on self-reflection.
But there came a time when my dream got bigger than what I was doing. I imagined myself touching more people than those I was effecting in my community. I dreamed of traveling the United States and even outside to share my message with those who might need it. I wanted to be a cheerleader to those who had lost their creative spark.
And I felt like getting more schooling would be a great benefit. So I stepped out to do just that. And here I am with the degree. Now, I am learning how to make my dream fit within the guidelines of my profession. And darn it, if I don’t feel like I am starting over. And yes, beginner’s mind can be very valuable, but the fact is, in many ways, I am not a beginner. I have already been doing much of what I want to do. And yet, I feel boxed in.
The ironic thing is that I think I may be doing exactly what I want to help others break out of. Is it a matter of self-confidence? Yes…but more than that too. I am not sure I have all the information I need. In the mean time, I will keep doing what I am doing and allow the rest to simmer below until I have all the ingredients I need.
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